Podcast by Nota Bene
18 January 2026
TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF ABUSE
Loksat was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) at a young age but now, having started to reconnect with his feelings, believes he's more likely to be NPD.
He talks about his deliberate manipulations of his BPD girlfriend, what her intense reactions mean to him, and how he finds safety in her acting out.
As we dig down into the details of his life, we find powerful factors which have shaped his relationship behaviours, his understanding of the world, and his experience of love.
Although the conversation initially might seem like it endorses Loksat acting in destructive ways, it doesn't. Loksat has never known any other way of being, and, as the conversation continues, it starts to become clear that Loksat is aware that he is working through his childhood traumas by recreating them.
If we, the Cluster B's who behave in damaging ways within relationships, want to progress beyond those patterns, first we need to understand them. If we are in a relationship and on the receiving end of damaging behaviour, we need to understand it. Knowledge and insight will set us free.
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58:39
04 January 2026
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55:19
04 October 2025
Ilkan comes from a country that was once part of the USSR. He shares his journey of self-discovery and recovery and reflects on the perceptions he held about his own intelligence and how distorted beliefs contributed to his narcissistic traits. Through therapy and introspection, Ilkan learns to embrace his ordinariness, allowing himself to connect more authentically with others and experience genuine joy. The episode provides a poignant look at the impacts of societal and familial dynamics on personality development.
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01:23:25
31 July 2025
In a candid discussion, support-forum moderator and creator of npd-recovery.com, "Invis", opens up about her journey through addiction and mental health issues, finding growth through communication, respect and the Smart Recovery program. This secular alternative to 12-step programs helped initiate a process of rebuilding, despite setbacks like a dramatic shame spiral triggered by a fragile moment. Invis speaks about discovering the importance of redefining success and embracing vulnerability as a strength, ultimately transforming her personal expectations to live a more fulfilling life.
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49:24
20 July 2025
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48:51
20 May 2025
In this podcast episode, Haifa discusses her diagnoses of borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder, giving insight into the challenges and interactions between these conditions. She candidly shares her past struggles with impulsivity, abandonment issues, and the protective role of anger.
Haifa touches on her upbringing and her struggles with her demanding mother. Cultural and economic factors are also at play, combining with her family's unaddressed historical trauma to create a painful inheritance.
Haifa talks about her relationships, particularly with partners who also have BPD, exploring the intense connection and validation they bring. Now, with a non-disordered partner, she embraces a newfound stability.
Haifa's story highlights her journey through therapy and self-awareness, paving the path from a tumultuous past to a more balanced present.
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56:18